
Cold pot, no bubbles, just a ceramic tomb
She dropped the penne in before the steam could bloom
A culinary heresy, a kitchen catastrophe
Breaking every law of the Italian academy
Dry stalks sinking in the arctic deep
While the nonnas of the world start to wail and weep
It’s a pasta crime, doing hard time
Boil the water first or you’re losing your mind
Starchy and sticky, a soggy mistake
How much influencer heat can a fusilli take?
Oh, the pasta crime!
Wait for the bubbles...
Wait for the salt...
If it’s a mushy mess
It’s entirely your fault.
Gordon Ramsay’s screaming in his sleep tonight.
Turn off the stove.
Just delete the post.