Fab Five Fallout: The Hot Mic Meltdown

Or is it?

Fabric’s tearing at the seams.

Karamo’s talking but he didn’t see the red light,

Spilling tea on the sofa, yeah the vibe ain't right.

Five stars on the screen, zero stars in the trailer,

This bromance is sinking like a drunkard sailor.

He’s dropping truth bombs, heavy-duty demolition,

Turning 'self-love' into a hostile expedition.

Fix your life, but we can't fix the group,

Serving up the drama in a cold, bitter soup.

French tuck the tension, hide the scars with a vest,

But the hot mic proved it’s a mess, not a quest.

Yeah, it’s a mess, not a quest.

Tan’s got the coats, Bobby’s got the floor plan,

But nobody’s got a map for the ego of a man.

Conflict resolution?

Not in this episode.

Watch the brand crumble on a high-definition road.

Check your levels.

Is this thing still on?

I guess the makeover...

is permanent.

Cut to black.