Yeah, Hollywood’s hungry, but the pups are hungrier.
Jen’s in the kitchen, little man’s on the floor,
Fido took a nibble, now he’s headed for the door.
She called it rehoming, fans called it a crime,
Now she’s on the internet doing PR time.
Said she wanted to 'obliterate' the whole canine race,
Now the PETA Twitter fingers putting paws in her face.
Bad dog, bad look, read the room, read the book!
One little snap and the puppy gets the hook.
She’s Katniss in the woods but she’s scared of the yard,
Being a 'Girl on Fire' makes the dog-sitting hard.
From the Oscars to the kennel,
Keep it mental, keep it gentle.
Hyperbole is a dangerous game,
When the Golden Retriever knows your name.
See you in the People’s Court.
Sticks and stones might break my bones,
But J-Law’s jokes bring the drone-strikes from the dog-moms.
